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Is the Hard Rock Hotel too rocking for Hard Rock Cafe?

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Illustration: Chris Morris

Have you ever seen TruTV’s Rehab: Party at the Hard Rock Hotel? You know, the show named after the casino’s Sunday pool party? Well, the management team at Hard Rock Cafe, headquartered in Orlando, has been watching, and they’ve seen about enough. In a lawsuit filed last week, Hard Rock Cafe sought to end its 14-year licensing agreement with Vegas’ Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, arguing, “The behavior depicted in the Rehab television program that is authorized, created and distributed by defendants is entirely at odds with the brand image of the Hard Rock.” By “behavior,” they mean the “drunken debauchery,” the “violence” and the “criminality.” Let me get this straight: Hard Rock Cafe has a problem with debauchery? Has anybody at Hard Rock Cafe ever listened to hard rock music? Hard rock music is all about debauchery! If Hard Rock Cafe’s managers have such a big problem with drunken debauchery, violence or criminality, then maybe they should change their company’s name. And Hard Rock Cafe, if you don’t understand the point I’m making, then buy yourself an iPod and listen to Judas Priest’s “Breaking the Law,” Thin Lizzy’s “Jailbreak,” Joan Jett’s “Bad Reputation” and Andrew W.K.’s “Party Hard.”

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