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A casino robber’s to (not) do list

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Should you rob a Las Vegas casino, do not do what this dude is doing.

Illustration: Chris Morris

Stupid criminals of the world, take heart: Weekly’s got your back. Here’s a handy-dandy list of things you should not do if you steal $1.5 million in chips from a Las Vegas casino. It’s a shame Bellagio robbery suspect Anthony Michael Carleo, the son of a Las Vegas judge, didn’t have a chance to read this list before being arrested last week:

•Don’t try to sell stolen chips to a poker player over the Internet.

•If you ignore step 1, at least don’t call attention to yourself by using the name “Biker Bandit.”

•Don’t drop unsubtle hints to employees of said casino that you have the means to rob it.

•After the robbery, don’t tell everyone you know that you did it.

•Don’t attempt to use the stolen chips at the casino you stole them from.

•If you do try to sell your chips, make sure you don’t sell them to an undercover cop.

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