Las Vegas Weekly

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In Vegas, engineered realities are common. There are loud voices on both sides of the synthetic vs. authentic debate, but not much attention is paid to the creepy similarities among all things man-made. Sure, we could have compared hair extensions and Splenda, but why not go right for the jugular of fake America—breasts and front lawns (after all, we seem to specialize in both here). Based on the following snippets of promotional verbiage and client testimonials from the websites of several prominent local purveyors, we challenge you to figure out which goes with which:

•1. It may be a lot less expensive than you think

•2. More balanced, symmetrical look while still appearing natural and beautiful

•3. Licensed, insured and professionally trained installers

•4. Most advanced and realistic looking synthetic

•5. “It looks better and feels even softer than I thought it would”

•6. “No one would ever know”

•7. Lifetime expectancy of 20-25 years

•8. Convenient way to escape your daily life

•9. Looking beautiful is not always natural

•10. Ultra thick and soft for children

•11. “I love the fact that it’s so easy to clean off and take care of”

Answers: Fake Grass — 1, 3, 4, 5, 7, 10, 11, Fake Breasts — 2, 6, 8, 9