Las Vegas Weekly

Chris Walton, a 45-year-old Las Vegas grandmother, set a Guinness record by growing the longest fingernails in the world, at a combined length of nearly 20 feet. Poor grandkids—we thought our grandmother’s mustache was scary!

The Association of Certified Anti-Money Laundering Specialists hosted its annual conference in Las Vegas this week, enjoying a record-setting turnout. Hear that, money launderers? All the good guys are in Las Vegas. Launder away!

Girls Gone Wild producer Joe Francis triumphed against Wynn Las Vegas in a criminal case over a $2.5 million gambling debt last week. Now Wynn officials announce they’ll continue to go after his assets, and Francis says he plans on suing Steve Wynn for malicious prosecution. Who wins in all this? The lawyers.

Lake Mead has fewer visitors this year—440,000 fewer, to be exact. Park officials don’t have a clue as to the decline (at least the water level’s up), but we know how they can bump the numbers up: an advertising campaign, offering people the chance to see water in Nevada before it’s all gone.

California Governor Jerry Brown attacked the GOP’s militant anti-tax stance during a speech to union delegates in Las Vegas Monday. We have just two questions for Mr. Brown: 1. What the hell are you doing in Nevada—don’t you have a state to run? 2. Can you visit more often?