Las Vegas Weekly

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What should a guy do on Valentine’s Day to impress his date?

Russian acrobat puppet: It’s always good to be drunk in romantic situation. It’s important to drink vodka or cognac. Lady is not so important as long as she takes care of man.

How do you know you’ve met a good guy?

Penny puppet: I like to base all my relationships and compare them to my father, so anything’s better than that (laughs). I like to look at a gentleman’s eyes and see if they’re looking back at me and not at my huge boobs. Just kidding, they’re actually quite small.

If you don’t have a date on Valentine’s Day, what should you do instead?

Penny: Make sock puppets.

What’s the most important characteristic to look for in a potential mate?

Penny: I think it’s important to be funny. It’s also important to be able to wake me up in the morning, because I don’t wake up for much. I’m a very heavy sleeper. If you could do that, I would give you an award.

What’s your go-to seduction outfit?

Penny puppet: I think the bigger the better. You want to stand out. As you can see in Vegas, a lot of girls have big boobs. So if you don’t have the money to get big boobs, I just wear a big flower in my hair or bright colors. It’s like a guy from New Jersey. They wear all that color and all that bling and they look ridiculous, but you see them in a crowd for sure.