Las Vegas Weekly

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You caught the funny Super Bowl commercial. You know, the one where Jack relives his hair metal glory back in "Oakland, 1989." And now, it's time to try Jack's latest fast-food misadventure, the Hot Mess Burger. Right? No?

First off, this burger's name should be taken literally and not in the urban dictionary, Hollywood gossipy, Fashion Police or Rachel Zoe kind of way. It is hot, sort of, thanks to a few pickled jalapeño slices, and it's incredibly messy. Do not attempt to eat this in the car after a drive-through pickup. It is loaded with gooey cheese, alleged to be pepper jack but with no discernible flavor, and a mayo-like sauce that will leave a laptop keyboard-ruining residue if the proper precautions aren't taken.

On the plus side, it's on grilled sourdough, always one of Jack in the Box's most edible offerings. There are onion rings, usually a good idea, although the cheese has corrupted their normally reliable crispiness. Instead, we get slimy bread-yuns. And again, the only heat comes from the mild vinegar tang of those jalapeños, of which there are not enough. The meat patty is an afterthought on the Hot Mess. This burger is all about drippy cheesestuff and greasy guilt.