Las Vegas Weekly

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I once dated a guy who rubbed pee on himself. Not his own and not for kicks, thankfully, but the rank musk of elk urine on your boyfriend can be scarring. He’s a big-game hunter, and his “perfume” is about fooling his prey into thinking he’s part of the herd.

As is his bugle, the human word for the way bull elk let cows know they’re DTF, and other bulls know that acronym can also stand for Down To Fight. The sound is unearthly, like a flute crossed with what I imagine a goose might sound like if Andre the Giant—rest his soul—squeezed too hard. Just because you can buy an elk call doesn’t mean you’ll fool any elk (even wearing pee). It takes finesse and swagger. Both will be in full effect during the Champion of Champions contest at the International Sportsmen’s Expo.

A dozen men have held the title of “professional world elk calling champion.” Once the 13th is crowned at the expo, the other 12 will join in a battle royal to see who does the best bull bugles and rakes and the most convincing cow chirps and barks. Additional categories for amateur men, women and kids offer prizes and cash purses ranging from $500-$2,500. Preliminary rounds are on Friday, March 1, with finals the next day. Forget the nightclubs. This is how real men and women get wild in Vegas.