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Bars and lounges bet on football

Those obviously out-of-touch commercials on television would have us believe that football can only be enjoyed over cheese-soaked quesadillas in a tacky sports bar with balding and overweight men. But for the rest of us there are classier, more sophisticated and enjoyable places to be entertained while watching the big game: Our city’s coolest hot spots are now open early for all the NFL action.

On Saturdays and Sundays, Lucky Strike Lanes inside the Rio spreads out a winning all-you-can-eat buffet featuring tailgate favorites like ribs, bratwurst, buffalo wings, chili and all-star Miller beer specials (two-for-one pitchers) for its of-age guests while they watch the live games on any of many oversized projection screens. At Dick’s Last Resort, your A.D.D. and your football addiction can feel right at home surrounded by 46 flat-screens and an ample menu that includes chicken wings, nachos, hot dogs and chili cheese dogs. Famous for its rowdy wait staff, messy food and zany décor, Dick’s is just as fun after the game, when Panama takes to the stage to play a mix of ’80s rock and Top 40 hits.

Tahiti Joe’s throws a party Sunday that features $1 drafts and a free buffet, then rolls right into its industry night. And at Joe’s Monday Night Madness, they roll out Joe’s Wild Wheel of prizes. Diablo’s Cantina rolls out a wheel, too, on Mondays, where with every touchdown, a spin from the Wheel of Sin determines the next drink special.

At Club Paradise, the lengthy lineup includes lap dances for just $10 for the duration of the game. Every Monday, enjoy a complimentary buffet with $3 Buds and PINK vodka drinks while you watch the game on four 102-inch jumbo screens and three 42-inch plasmas with a harem of beautiful and exotic entertainers. Touchdown dance, lap dance—whichever works for you!

If that’s not enough to tickle your fancy, Club Paradise also gives away thousands of dollars a week in prizes—including sending you and a friend off to any regular-season NFL game in the country with round-trip airfare, new sets of golf clubs, NFL merchandise and monthly grand-prize VIP packages for a variety of sports and entertainment events. Scores, Sin and Sapphire gentlemen’s clubs have also gotten into the game, throwing Monday night football parties with live game sound and oodles of specials.

But if bars and gentlemen’s clubs aren’t to your high-class taste, Blush Boutique Nightclub at Wynn offers the softest of couches for your bottom to rest on while watching Monday night’s game in a setting where no one will raise a burly eyebrow if you show up wearing a tie.

Red Square eggs us on

Go ahead, order that second martini! The bar at Red Square inside Mandalay Bay has a treat for you every day from 4-6 p.m. at Cavihour. With the purchase of two Imperia vodka cocktails, you will receive 1 ounce of caviar to enjoy with your wod-kah. You also get all the fixin’s, like blini, crème fraîche and so on. And if your drinks turn into a meal, stay after as Red Square has enlisted the help of a pair of dueling guitars to battle it out over your favorite classic hits Sunday through Thursday from 11 p.m.-3 a.m. Now all you need is a handy-dandy Russian toast. You can borrow ours: Za vas! (“To you!”)

And now for some celeb antics ...

As widely reported by celebrity news websites and gossip magazines local and national, Pamela Anderson married her latest beau, Rick Salomon, in a quickie—er, a quick ceremony on Saturday, October 6. (You might remember the blushing bridegroom as Paris Hilton’s grainy, greenish-pale naked co-star in the critically un-acclaimed sex tape One Night In Paris.) The Salomons’ undoubtedly beautiful wedding ceremony took place at the Mirage Hotel’s Wedding Chapel between the 7 and 10 p.m. performances of wedding guest Hans Klok’s Beauty of Magic show, and was followed by an afterparty at Planet Hollywood’s Heart Bar, where Pamela reportedly indulged her guests for “all of 12 seconds.” The bride wore white ... denim.

Now, if memory serves us, and if Pamela’s track record is any indication of what is to come, we can immediately expect a lurid sex tape to be leaked onto the Internet featuring these two love birds in not-so-rare form, to be followed by a very public divorce within the next year and a half, after which Salomon will be booked on Larry King for a candid tell-all about what really went wrong; for him to begin touring as a celebrity DJ (we look forward to interviewing him soon); and for either one to turn to VH1 to help them finally find their true love the right way—via a train-wreck reality show. But seriously, folks, we do wish them our best!

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