The Help Desk

The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Jul 30, 2009 (midnight)

North Las Vegas police officer arrested on credit-card fraud charges also had expired driver’s license and was using a stolen license plate.
Note to future criminals: If you’re fraudulently using a credit card, at LEAST use it to renew your driver’s license and get some new plates!
Las Vegas housing supply hits three-year low.
It’s not that more homes are selling—they’re just being given away free when you super-size.
Local governments spent $3.2 million of public money lobbying the Nevada Legislature this year.
Yep, we can’t give our kids a decent education, but at least our lobbyists are safe.

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The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Jul 23, 2009 (midnight)

Las Vegas personal injury lawyer sentenced to five years in prison on tax evasion charges.
Odds are he’ll know much more about personal injury by then.
Unemployment rate in Las Vegas rises to 12.3 percent.
No wonder Jim Gibbons is hiding out in Iraq.
MGM official describes Las Vegas economy as “bouncing along a bottom.”
Making it the first time a sentence with the words “bouncing” and “bottom” has NOT turned us on.

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The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Jul 16, 2009 (midnight)

John Ensign’s parents paid $96,000 to his mistress and her family.
You know, it’s like that old saying: The family that prays together pays together.
Las Vegas Hilton celebrates 40th anniversary.
Word has it their guest had a real good time.
Las Vegas man wins court battle over “HOE” license plate, saying it was short for “Chevy Tahoe.”
Paving the way for us to finally get that “DILL DO” license plate for our Cadillac Eldorado.

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The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Jul 9, 2009 (midnight)

Report: Some of those who bought early in CityCenter are demanding price reductions or deposits back.
Right, because the Strip’s high-rise condo market is COMPLETELY different from the Valley’s housing market.
Member of magician Steve Wyrick’s stunt crew injured in fire during Fourth of July “Death Drop” trick.
Wyrick said to already be working on new trick to make career completely disappear.
Las Vegas Metro holds first “First Tuesday” public forum.
The event also made for an excellent DUI checkpoint.

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The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Jul 2, 2009 (midnight)

Sales-tax rate in Clark County and Las Vegas rises to 8.1 percent as of July 1
Hey, what do we care? We’re not buying anything anyway.
Second golf course to close at Lake Las Vegas.
Area golfers flew their funny-looking pants at half mast.
Gov. Jim Gibbons demands to know what can be done about high gas prices.
Great idea! In fact, may we suggest a fact-finding trip to Saudi Arabia? And please—take your time.

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The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Jun 25, 2009 (midnight)

John Ensign admits to nine-month-long affair with campaign aide.
However, he still hasn’t admitted to his nine-year-long screwing of the Nevada education system.
Husband of Ensign’s mistress sent e-mail to Fox News informing them of the affair.
They didn’t do a story, but they did send the message down to their reality-television division.
Ensign: Ex-mistress’ husband made “exorbitant demands” for money.
Hey, the guy’s a Republican. It was a reflex action!

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The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Jun 18, 2009 (midnight)

Las Vegas Marathon to become “Rock N’ Roll Marathon,” with live music every mile.
Songs are expected to include “Running on Empty,” “Stumblin’ In” and “Everybody Hurts.” .
Cheap Trick to headline at Hilton, perform Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper.
That’s right, because every time we hear Cheap Trick on the radio, we think, “Why can’t they play someone else’s songs?”
Hundreds of students at local elementary school absent amid swine flu scare.
Child care wasn’t really a problem, as all their parents are jobless anyway.

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The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Jun 11, 2009 (midnight)

MGM, Disney partnering to build Disney-themed casino.
We can’t decide what we’ll go to first: Pinocchio’s True Confessions or Bambi and Thumper: The Untold Story.
Pete Wentz spits on photographer while celebrating 30th birthday in Las Vegas.
Hey, the guy drinks his wife’s breast milk; bodily fluids are his way of showing affection.
Mel B’s role in Peepshow to come to an end.
The show’s producers had seen all they needed to see, apparently.

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The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Jun 4, 2009 (midnight)

Assembly overrides Gov. Gibbons’ veto of domestic-partnership bill.
Finally, same-sex couples can have the same rights and responsibilities that the 50 percent of successful married straight couples do.
Las Vegas auction offering Elvis’ pill bottles, the last robe Marilyn Monroe wore before she overdosed.
And our economy has officially hit rock bottom, folks.
Michael Jackson in negotiations to open casino based on Thriller.
Spoke too soon—NOW it’s hit rock bottom.

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The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Jun 4, 2009 (midnight)

Assembly overrides Gov. Gibbons’ veto of domestic-partnership bill.
Finally, same-sex couples can have the same rights and responsibilities that the 50 percent of successful married straight couples do.
Las Vegas auction offering Elvis’ pill bottles, the last robe Marilyn Monroe wore before she overdosed.
And our economy has officially hit rock bottom, folks.
Michael Jackson in negotiations to open casino based on Thriller.
Spoke too soon—NOW it’s hit rock bottom.

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The Help Desk

“Welcome to Las Vegas” sign earns spot on National Register of Historic Places.
Making it the only historic place in the country with just a little spot of vomit on it.
Las Vegas makes “Best Cities for Fresh Start” list.
If, by “fresh start,” you mean a shorter wait on the phone for unemployment benefits.
O.J. Simpson switches lawyer for upcoming conviction appeal in Las Vegas.
The lawyer is unhappy but alive.

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The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, May 21, 2009 (midnight)

Holly Madison joins cast of Peepshow.
Or as Hugh Hefner and Criss Angel will now call it, Old Home Week.
Las Vegas hosts world’s largest bikini parade to boost tourism numbers.
In addition, we’re immediately changing our nickname from “Sin City” to “Silicone Valley.”
Analyst improves MGM’s rating to “overweight.”
Only in America would that term be a sign that things are improving.

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The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, May 14, 2009 (midnight)

Wife Swap tapes segment in Las Vegas.
Jim Gibbons reportedly offered producers the use of the governor’s mansion—until they explained what the show was really about.
Report: Nevada ranks fifth among states in gun-related deaths per capita.
This news has us so upset, we just want to shoot someone—something, we mean something!
Marie Osmond too sick to perform after eating at sushi restaurant.
“She’s obviously faking it,” said Jeremy Piven.

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The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, May 7, 2009 (midnight)

Bored Las Vegas teen pretends to offer baby for sale on Craigslist.
Prank goes horribly wrong when Madonna and Angelina Jolie start vicious bidding war.
Gunman robs MGM Grand, takes off on motorcycle.
Man! Even getaway vehicles are taking a hit in this economy.
First case of swine flu in Nevada found in Reno.
Gov. Jim Gibbons quick to insist he’s been nowhere near Reno for the last few weeks.

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The Help Desk

Fremont Street Experience paying tribute to 1969 and Woodstock this summer.
Just make sure not to eat the brown deep-fried Twinkies.
Las Vegas tops list of highest foreclosure rates—seven times the national average.
So don’t look at it as losing your home—look at it as joining a very large and popular club.
Analyst: Median home price in Vegas could fall to $100,000 by the end of the year.
So, how exactly does this foreclosure thing work?

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A&E

MMA fighters set to party after UFC 106
Kenny G and UFC all in the same weekend?
Lunch, served with style
Forget cafeteria food, these lunch trays up for bid carry more important things.
49 things to be thankful for
Colonic Elvis, invisible troops, CCSD teachers, the lag time between stopping mortgage payments and being evicted… the list goes on and on.

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Cocktail of the Week

Cocktail of the Week Nov 19, 2009
by Xania Woodman

The Jaded Kiss

The bar is open! Or rather, back open. Adjacent to Dos Caminos at Palazzo, itty bitty Fusion Mixology Bar has gotten itself some fresh new beats and mixology talent as ...
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