The Help Desk
The Help Desk
Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Tue, Jan 5, 2010 (midnight)
- Palms owner George Maloof allegedly offers Lady Gaga multimillion-dollar deal to perform a series of shows there.
- He thinks she may even appeal to the older crowd—you know, fans of Britney Spears.
- Las Vegas’ Ashley Sampson, the woman who broke Tiger Woods’ affair with Rachel Uchitel, calls Uchitel a “celebrity whore.”
- Which is way worse than, say, a media whore.
- Shady Lady brothel to advertise male prostitutes as “the boyfriend experience.”
- So, basically, the guys will watch television all day, forget your birthday and complain you spend too much money?
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The Help Desk
Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Dec 31, 2009 (midnight)
- Paris Hilton and Piers Morgan stage fake wedding ceremony in Las Vegas.
- Fake or not, it’ll probably last longer than most real Las Vegas marriages.
- Las Vegas records first increase in air passenger travel in 21 months.
- And just in time, because air travel is about to get a whole lot easier. Right? Right?
- 69-year-old man apologizes for throwing paint at “Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas” sign.
- It was a senior moment—he thought he was home, and that the sign was intruding on his lawn.
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The Help Desk
Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Tue, Dec 22, 2009 (5:30 p.m.)
- NFL modifies policy, will allow Las Vegas ads on Super Bowl telecasts.
- It’s going to be real hard to achieve the freshness of those Budweiser Clydesdales, but we’ll do our darnedest.
- Mayor Oscar Goodman changes party affiliation to nonpartisan.
- It’s not that he’s mulling a run for governor; he just suddenly realized that cutting off people’s thumbs doesn’t fall under the traditional two-party system.
- Police arrest 69-year-old man for allegedly throwing paint at “Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas” sign.
- Police are worried that if this guy doesn’t clean up his act, it could really affect his future.
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The Help Desk
Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Tue, Dec 15, 2009 (3:25 p.m.)
- Nevada State Board of Health approves guidelines allowing men to work in state’s brothels.
- Cool! So now when a cheating husband heads out to pay for sex, he can bring his wife!
- Brothel industry spokesman George Flint compares men working in brothels to Pearl Harbor.
- We see what he means—well, except for the Japanese, the dead soldiers and World War II. But other than that ...
- Oscar Goodman says Tiger Woods coverage is “great for Las Vegas.”
- Yeah, up until now, no one would have suspected men come here to have illicit affairs.
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The Help Desk
Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Dec 10, 2009 (midnight)
- $8.5 billion CityCenter begins opening.
- And as soon as Las Vegans can afford to gas up their cars, they’ll get right over there.
- Manny Pacquiao, Floyd Mayweather Jr. unofficially agree to March 13 bout.
- It’s expected to be the greatest fight since ... well, since ... er, can we get back to you?
- Recent poll has Oscar Goodman winning the governor’s race.
- He’ll lose a few votes to women who look like fat and short Bette Midlers, but oh well.
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The Help Desk
Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Tue, Dec 1, 2009 (5:39 p.m.)
- Simon Cowell says he wants to bring The X Factor, a popular British singing competition whose prize is a gig in Las Vegas, to Sin City.
- Or as the America’s Got Talent people will call it, Simon Cowell Can Suck It.
- Mayor Oscar Goodman refers to female bidder at charity event as “a fat and short Bette Midler.”
- Shocking behavior, but in his defense, the woman actually WAS Bette Midler.
- Donny Osmond brings his Dancing With the Stars trophy onstage during a performance with Marie.
- She was going to faint, but decided that’s so 2007.
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The Help Desk
Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Wed, Nov 25, 2009 (midnight)
- Unemployment rate in Clark County drops from 13.9 percent to 13 percent.
- Thanks to the county reclassifying “alcoholic” as a job title.
- After announcing that 19 city workers will be laid off, Mayor Oscar Goodman says, “Morale can’t be good.”
- But, he added, a new city hall would sure make him feel better.
- Politico report: Attorney General Eric Holder made sure he and John Ensign did not attend the same event in Las Vegas last month.
- And a good thing, too, since they were also wearing the same suit, avoiding what would have been an even more awkward moment.
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The Help Desk
Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Tue, Nov 17, 2009 (4:07 p.m.)
- Fired UNLV coach Mike Sanford blames bad record on lousy locker-room conditions.
- He also blamed his shitty parking space.
- Twelve hurt in escalator mishap at casino.
- With the speed those things move at, it was just an accident waiting to happen.
- Seven-year-old fires gun while waiting at bus stop.
- No word on whether he’s been punished yet, but on the bright side, he did get his NRA card.
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The Help Desk
Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Nov 12, 2009 (midnight)
- Nicolas Cage forced to sell $10 million Las Vegas estate because of tax troubles.
- Hey, we saw The Wicker Man—this isn’t the first time he’s been forced to do something unpleasant.
- Las Vegas tops Forbes’ list of least toxic cities.
- Did they test the air around UNLV’s football team?
- Man on Nevada death row gets additional prison sentences.
- Being on death row just doesn’t send a strong-enough message.
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The Help Desk
Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Nov 5, 2009 (midnight)
- Steve Wynn says in conference call with investors, “The landscape in Vegas is troubling.”
- He then further shocked the group by revealing that water is wet and candy is sweet.
- Nevada man charged with acting as attorney.
- Hmmm ... wonder who’s going to represent this guy?
- Swine flu forces change in UMC visitors policy.
- The new policy is this: If you try to visit, you’re immediately sent for psychiatric evaluation, because you’re clearly insane.
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The Help Desk
Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Oct 29, 2009 (midnight)
- Las Vegas ranks seventh on Forbes list of Best Cities to Retire In.
- Proving once and for all that Forbes lists are a result of putting all cities in a hat and just choosing at random.
- Casino employees sue over second-hand-smoke exposure.
- Can we change our slogan to What Happens in Vegas Has Real-World Implications?
- Holly Madison says she’d like to be city’s mayor.
- Hate to break this to you, Holly, but with the caliber of mayor up to now ... you’re extremely qualified.
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The Help Desk
Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Oct 22, 2009 (midnight)
- Unemployment in Las Vegas climbs to 13.9 percent.
- We’re not saying it’s bad, but we just saw a guy in a suit offering to squeegee a homeless guy’s shopping cart.
- UFL moves third Locomotives game back to Las Vegas.
- To give the city another chance to totally blow it off.
- Las Vegas DMV office reopens after discovery of something suspicious.
- DMV officials had never seen it before: a smile.
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Help Desk
Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Tue, Oct 13, 2009 (5:49 p.m.)
- Michael Jackson’s doctor Conrad Murray could face arrest after missing hearing about late child support.
- He’s got a good excuse—he spent all his money on storage lockers and propofol.
- Miss America Organization announces Rush Limbaugh as a national judge for 2010.
- They want help in scoping out the next Republican vice-presidential candidate.
- KVBC alleges rest of Las Vegas network affiliates sold their newscasts.
- This whole thing got us so riled up, we had to take an Excedrin PM—it really works—and cuddle up in our Snuggie—only $19.95.
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The Help Desk
Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Oct 8, 2009 (midnight)
- Judge issues arrest warrant for Roger Mayweather after he fails to show in court.
- It was an honest mistake—Roger thought it was Floyd’s turn to show up in court.
- New law makes it illegal to drink in city parks without a permit.
- Oscar Goodman is just going to opt for the lifetime wristband.
- Former pitcher Shawn Chacon wanted for allegedly writing three bad checks totalling $150,000 to casino.
- We don’t know about you, but we’re shocked that a mediocre ex-baseball player would cheat.
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The Help Desk
Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Sep 24, 2009 (midnight)
- Floyd Mayweather Jr. defeats Juan Manuel Marquez.
- Fight fans enjoying UFC 103 ask, “Who and who?”
- Las Vegas-Anaheim maglev train proposal to finally get $5 million in federal funds.
- Awesome! Now it’s one step closer to never happening.
- Heidi Fleiss forced to close pet-grooming business.
- Residents complained after Charlie Sheen started taking his dogs there.
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A&E
- Punk Rock Bowling interview: Devo co-founder Gerald Casale
- On Skrillex, irony and whether Devo qualifies as an honest-to-goodness punk band.
- A dozen acts to catch at Punk Rock Bowling
- From Sean and Zander on Friday to Subhumans Monday night, the festival’s lineup is stacked with goodies.
- Get outside: Seven great things to do this summer
- From Strip-side movies to Jazz in the Park, there’s plenty to do in the Valley this season.
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Friday
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The Strip
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2013-05-24
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Friday
2013-05-24
Comedy
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Saturday
2013-05-25
The Orleans
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Saturday
2013-05-25
The Strip
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Tuesday
2013-05-28
Concert
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Tuesday
2013-05-28
Paris
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Tuesday
2013-05-28
Drink Specials
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Featured Cocktail
May 15, 2013
by
Sabrina Chapman
The Golden Pillar: An architectural cocktail built for XS
This Sunday, XS nightclub celebrates the grand reopening of its after-dark pool party, Night Swim. Along with the bash comes a new offering of signature cocktails served by the pitcher, ...
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