The Help Desk

The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Tue, Jan 5, 2010 (midnight)

Palms owner George Maloof allegedly offers Lady Gaga multimillion-dollar deal to perform a series of shows there.
He thinks she may even appeal to the older crowd—you know, fans of Britney Spears.
Las Vegas’ Ashley Sampson, the woman who broke Tiger Woods’ affair with Rachel Uchitel, calls Uchitel a “celebrity whore.”
Which is way worse than, say, a media whore.
Shady Lady brothel to advertise male prostitutes as “the boyfriend experience.”
So, basically, the guys will watch television all day, forget your birthday and complain you spend too much money?

 read more...

The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Dec 31, 2009 (midnight)

Paris Hilton and Piers Morgan stage fake wedding ceremony in Las Vegas.
Fake or not, it’ll probably last longer than most real Las Vegas marriages.
Las Vegas records first increase in air passenger travel in 21 months.
And just in time, because air travel is about to get a whole lot easier. Right? Right?
69-year-old man apologizes for throwing paint at “Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas” sign.
It was a senior moment—he thought he was home, and that the sign was intruding on his lawn.

 read more...

The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Tue, Dec 22, 2009 (5:30 p.m.)

NFL modifies policy, will allow Las Vegas ads on Super Bowl telecasts.
It’s going to be real hard to achieve the freshness of those Budweiser Clydesdales, but we’ll do our darnedest.
Mayor Oscar Goodman changes party affiliation to nonpartisan.
It’s not that he’s mulling a run for governor; he just suddenly realized that cutting off people’s thumbs doesn’t fall under the traditional two-party system.
Police arrest 69-year-old man for allegedly throwing paint at “Welcome to Fabulous Las Vegas” sign.
Police are worried that if this guy doesn’t clean up his act, it could really affect his future.

 read more...

The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Tue, Dec 15, 2009 (3:25 p.m.)

Nevada State Board of Health approves guidelines allowing men to work in state’s brothels.
Cool! So now when a cheating husband heads out to pay for sex, he can bring his wife!
Brothel industry spokesman George Flint compares men working in brothels to Pearl Harbor.
We see what he means—well, except for the Japanese, the dead soldiers and World War II. But other than that ...
Oscar Goodman says Tiger Woods coverage is “great for Las Vegas.”
Yeah, up until now, no one would have suspected men come here to have illicit affairs.

 read more...

The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Dec 10, 2009 (midnight)

$8.5 billion CityCenter begins opening.
And as soon as Las Vegans can afford to gas up their cars, they’ll get right over there.
Manny Pacquiao, Floyd Mayweather Jr. unofficially agree to March 13 bout.
It’s expected to be the greatest fight since ... well, since ... er, can we get back to you?
Recent poll has Oscar Goodman winning the governor’s race.
He’ll lose a few votes to women who look like fat and short Bette Midlers, but oh well.

 read more...

The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Tue, Dec 1, 2009 (5:39 p.m.)

Simon Cowell says he wants to bring The X Factor, a popular British singing competition whose prize is a gig in Las Vegas, to Sin City.
Or as the America’s Got Talent people will call it, Simon Cowell Can Suck It.
Mayor Oscar Goodman refers to female bidder at charity event as “a fat and short Bette Midler.”
Shocking behavior, but in his defense, the woman actually WAS Bette Midler.
Donny Osmond brings his Dancing With the Stars trophy onstage during a performance with Marie.
She was going to faint, but decided that’s so 2007.

 read more...

The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Wed, Nov 25, 2009 (midnight)

Unemployment rate in Clark County drops from 13.9 percent to 13 percent.
Thanks to the county reclassifying “alcoholic” as a job title.
After announcing that 19 city workers will be laid off, Mayor Oscar Goodman says, “Morale can’t be good.”
But, he added, a new city hall would sure make him feel better.
Politico report: Attorney General Eric Holder made sure he and John Ensign did not attend the same event in Las Vegas last month.
And a good thing, too, since they were also wearing the same suit, avoiding what would have been an even more awkward moment.

 read more...

The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Tue, Nov 17, 2009 (4:07 p.m.)

Fired UNLV coach Mike Sanford blames bad record on lousy locker-room conditions.
He also blamed his shitty parking space.
Twelve hurt in escalator mishap at casino.
With the speed those things move at, it was just an accident waiting to happen.
Seven-year-old fires gun while waiting at bus stop.
No word on whether he’s been punished yet, but on the bright side, he did get his NRA card.

 read more...

The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Nov 12, 2009 (midnight)

Nicolas Cage forced to sell $10 million Las Vegas estate because of tax troubles.
Hey, we saw The Wicker Man—this isn’t the first time he’s been forced to do something unpleasant.
Las Vegas tops Forbes’ list of least toxic cities.
Did they test the air around UNLV’s football team?
Man on Nevada death row gets additional prison sentences.
Being on death row just doesn’t send a strong-enough message.

 read more...

The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Nov 5, 2009 (midnight)

Steve Wynn says in conference call with investors, “The landscape in Vegas is troubling.”
He then further shocked the group by revealing that water is wet and candy is sweet.
Nevada man charged with acting as attorney.
Hmmm ... wonder who’s going to represent this guy?
Swine flu forces change in UMC visitors policy.
The new policy is this: If you try to visit, you’re immediately sent for psychiatric evaluation, because you’re clearly insane.

 read more...

The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Oct 29, 2009 (midnight)

Las Vegas ranks seventh on Forbes list of Best Cities to Retire In.
Proving once and for all that Forbes lists are a result of putting all cities in a hat and just choosing at random.
Casino employees sue over second-hand-smoke exposure.
Can we change our slogan to What Happens in Vegas Has Real-World Implications?
Holly Madison says she’d like to be city’s mayor.
Hate to break this to you, Holly, but with the caliber of mayor up to now ... you’re extremely qualified.

 read more...

The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Oct 22, 2009 (midnight)

Unemployment in Las Vegas climbs to 13.9 percent.
We’re not saying it’s bad, but we just saw a guy in a suit offering to squeegee a homeless guy’s shopping cart.
UFL moves third Locomotives game back to Las Vegas.
To give the city another chance to totally blow it off.
Las Vegas DMV office reopens after discovery of something suspicious.
DMV officials had never seen it before: a smile.

 read more...

Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Tue, Oct 13, 2009 (5:49 p.m.)

Michael Jackson’s doctor Conrad Murray could face arrest after missing hearing about late child support.
He’s got a good excuse—he spent all his money on storage lockers and propofol.
Miss America Organization announces Rush Limbaugh as a national judge for 2010.
They want help in scoping out the next Republican vice-presidential candidate.
KVBC alleges rest of Las Vegas network affiliates sold their newscasts.
This whole thing got us so riled up, we had to take an Excedrin PM—it really works—and cuddle up in our Snuggie—only $19.95.

 read more...

The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Oct 8, 2009 (midnight)

Judge issues arrest warrant for Roger Mayweather after he fails to show in court.
It was an honest mistake—Roger thought it was Floyd’s turn to show up in court.
New law makes it illegal to drink in city parks without a permit.
Oscar Goodman is just going to opt for the lifetime wristband.
Former pitcher Shawn Chacon wanted for allegedly writing three bad checks totalling $150,000 to casino.
We don’t know about you, but we’re shocked that a mediocre ex-baseball player would cheat.

 read more...

The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Sep 24, 2009 (midnight)

Floyd Mayweather Jr. defeats Juan Manuel Marquez.
Fight fans enjoying UFC 103 ask, “Who and who?”
Las Vegas-Anaheim maglev train proposal to finally get $5 million in federal funds.
Awesome! Now it’s one step closer to never happening.
Heidi Fleiss forced to close pet-grooming business.
Residents complained after Charlie Sheen started taking his dogs there.

 read more...

A&E

Punk Rock Bowling interview: Devo co-founder Gerald Casale
On Skrillex, irony and whether Devo qualifies as an honest-to-goodness punk band.
A dozen acts to catch at Punk Rock Bowling
From Sean and Zander on Friday to Subhumans Monday night, the festival’s lineup is stacked with goodies.
Get outside: Seven great things to do this summer
From Strip-side movies to Jazz in the Park, there’s plenty to do in the Valley this season.

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Facebook Activity

Featured Cocktail

Cocktail of the Week May 15, 2013
by Sabrina Chapman

The Golden Pillar: An architectural cocktail built for XS

This Sunday, XS nightclub celebrates the grand reopening of its after-dark pool party, Night Swim. Along with the bash comes a new offering of signature cocktails served by the pitcher, ...
Read more...