Last week, Las Vegas Weekly threw me a book release party for my latest memoir, Fool Me Once: Hustlers, Hookers, Headliners, and How Not to Get Screwed in Vegas. The event was a great success, largely because I followed these three rules:
Look better than everyone else. If you’re going to be the center of attention, you better give everybody something to look at. So go out and buy the Technicolor belt buckle or unicorn skin tie you’ve had your eye on.
Take as many pictures as you can. This ensures your party will live on—in Facebook albums, at least—for years to come. Make a special effort to take pictures with the people who don’t like to be photographed. They’ll probably make the picture their profile shot, for lack of other options.
Don’t have fun. Think of your party as a gig. Your objective is to chat with everybody in attendance, for at least two minutes. Your fun will come the following day, when everybody starts calling you and emailing you and telling you what an amazing time they had.