We've been in "the lifestyle" for quite awhile and have seen more than our share of swingin' couples, especially considering we own a Las Vegas-based swing site that may very well be the one the author's boyfriend has a profile on.
In the lifestyle, as with ANY other "game", you must define the rules before you can say anything is cheating or not. While Ms. Ruscitti considers herself sexually adventurous, she is still playing by "vanilla" (as we call non-swingers) rules so yes, it is cheating when you look at it that way.
However, there are different rules in the lifestyle--and each relationship needs to develop their own rule book as they venture into the swing world--so you can't say we are cheating on each other when it clearly states in our rule book that our behavior is not of the cheatin' kind.
Real swinging isn't easy because it involves honesty and it involves feeling secure about who you are and what you bring to the table and it involves looking at relationships differently than the vanilla world has brainwashed everyone to think as they grow up.
But, of course, swingers do cheat--we've seen that time and again. Even though they have the agreements to go to bed with other people some still feel like they need to sneak off to do it. And perhaps they do as maybe their relationship isn't very strong to begin with.
Personally, we started with what we want to have sexually and wrote the rule book around that. Our book is different than others because everyone's is unique, depending on needs and wants and comfort level. We've revised our rule book as we experienced more and saw what we liked and didn't like.
For example, when it comes to other couples we always "play" together. Some don't. Some have a "hall pass" and can play without their partner but we enjoy each other's company so much and love to watch and/or help them get turned on that it sort of defeats the purpose of the whole thing for us to not be around participating n the other's pleasure..
While you claim to have a hearty sexual appetite, Audria, the place your trouble begins in understanding the lifestyle is where you say "I'm willing to do anything normal". Normal is often boring and certainly restrictive due to all the rules and regulations on what one can and can't do within a relationship.
Adding another woman or another man or another couple or two or three doesn't fit your definition of normal but it sure is fun when you allow yourself to apply a different set of rules.
If I was your editor I'd assign a Part II of this piece. Go figure out what "non-normal" sexual activity gives you a thrill such as a 3-way with two men (you seem to like men). How about an encounter with another woman? How about another couple making you the center of attention? Clear your mind of those cheating thoughts and let your body go with the flow. Now that's an article we'd like to read...
We've been in "the lifestyle" for quite awhile and have seen more than our share of swingin' couples, especially considering we own a Las Vegas-based swing site that may very well be the one the author's boyfriend has a profile on.
In the lifestyle, as with ANY other "game", you must define the rules before you can say anything is cheating or not. While Ms. Ruscitti considers herself sexually adventurous, she is still playing by "vanilla" (as we call non-swingers) rules so yes, it is cheating when you look at it that way.
However, there are different rules in the lifestyle--and each relationship needs to develop their own rule book as they venture into the swing world--so you can't say we are cheating on each other when it clearly states in our rule book that our behavior is not of the cheatin' kind.
Real swinging isn't easy because it involves honesty and it involves feeling secure about who you are and what you bring to the table and it involves looking at relationships differently than the vanilla world has brainwashed everyone to think as they grow up.
But, of course, swingers do cheat--we've seen that time and again. Even though they have the agreements to go to bed with other people some still feel like they need to sneak off to do it. And perhaps they do as maybe their relationship isn't very strong to begin with.
Personally, we started with what we want to have sexually and wrote the rule book around that. Our book is different than others because everyone's is unique, depending on needs and wants and comfort level. We've revised our rule book as we experienced more and saw what we liked and didn't like.
For example, when it comes to other couples we always "play" together. Some don't. Some have a "hall pass" and can play without their partner but we enjoy each other's company so much and love to watch and/or help them get turned on that it sort of defeats the purpose of the whole thing for us to not be around participating n the other's pleasure..
While you claim to have a hearty sexual appetite, Audria, the place your trouble begins in understanding the lifestyle is where you say "I'm willing to do anything normal". Normal is often boring and certainly restrictive due to all the rules and regulations on what one can and can't do within a relationship.
Adding another woman or another man or another couple or two or three doesn't fit your definition of normal but it sure is fun when you allow yourself to apply a different set of rules.
If I was your editor I'd assign a Part II of this piece. Go figure out what "non-normal" sexual activity gives you a thrill such as a 3-way with two men (you seem to like men). How about an encounter with another woman? How about another couple making you the center of attention? Clear your mind of those cheating thoughts and let your body go with the flow. Now that's an article we'd like to read...