"I'm really excited..."

This just blew my mind.

Did "grill-blasting" really get left off this list?

I am disappointed.

I second that. I mean, even if you have no money to your name, at least you can still f*ck.

Think about it, I think if the richest man in the world was totally impotent, he'd give it all just to be able to get it up again.

I think Donnie Darko said it the best... "What's the point of living if you don't have a dick?"