Last November, in the days after the election results were called, I abandoned my Twitter and Threads accounts. (TikTok, as well, but that was easier; I’ve never actually used it.) I kept my Facebook and Instagram accounts—lots of family on those platforms; can’t quit them easily—and I’m trying out BlueSky for local newsgathering, although I’ve set timers for all three apps on my phone. Once I go over my daily limit, I can’t access them.
I didn’t do this because of the hate speech and sludgy rhetoric that’s swamped both platforms, or my strong distrust of Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg—although those are valid reasons to exit communities in which our participation is 100% voluntary. I quit those sites because social media is making me feel sad, angry and disconnected from the world, and I genuinely believe that I could benefit from having less of it available to me. That’s my sole resolution for 2025: un-liking and unsubscribing, over and over, until I begin to feel my humanity again.
I shouldn’t be alone in this. I sincerely hope that I’m not. A CSU Fullerton study revealed that 10% of adults are addicted to the dopamine hit of social media, and that was in 2018; that number is surely higher now. (It was probably higher then.) Relatedly, a Gallup survey—commissioned by, of all things, Facebook parent company Meta—found that nearly a quarter of adults worldwide feel lonely. And an Over Zero/American Immigration Council study found that 74% of Americans feel disconnected from their communities.
In a December 25 piece for Wired, Havard-schooled social scientist Kasley Killam mused that 2025 will “mark a turning point when people worldwide finally recognize that their health is not only physical and mental, but also social.”In recent years I’ve entrusted much of my “social health” to Facebook, Twitter and Threads, by necessity:I have friends and family scattered around the world, and their posts keep me tethered to them. But those apps didn’t come here to make friends; rather, they came to profit from our friendships. Their algorithms push our friends down in our feeds in favor of ads, videos of people reacting to other videos and more nefarious, polarizing forms of engagement farming.
I’ve allowed myself to get knee-deep in that stuff while my close-to-home relationships have languished. Killam’s article notes that people are spending 20 fewer hours with friends each month than they did 20 years ago, and that memberships in community groups, local clubs and faith organizations have similarly plummeted.
The remedy for this is engaging with people in real life. It’s strengthening bonds with your existing friends through visits, phone calls or texts; implementing Killam’s 5-3-1 suggestion (interacting with five different people each week, maintaining a minimum of three close relationships and spending an hour a day connecting, preferably face-to-face); and widening your social circle by joining clubs or organizations, taking classes or going to social events where you’re not guaranteed to know everyone ... and leaving your phone put away.
Las Vegas has seen a modest explosion of social groups and “third places”—meeting spots outside of the home (first place) and the workplace (second)—over the past decade, even with the pandemic shutdown factored in. We have lots of places to get a coffee and hang, from Grouchy John’s to Vesta to Mothership. The Writer’s Block bookshop has book clubs for nearly every taste. The Plaza offers free pickleball clinics every Saturday morning. Las Vegas Sketch & Sip, a live drawing class, happens monthly (facebook.com/lvsketchandsip). VegasHikers (meetup.com/vegashikers) makes frequent group excursions into the wild. Vegas boasts groups and clubs for nearly every hobby and enthusiasm; you’d be surprised what a simple web search can turn up.
None of this may happen for you if you’re doomscrolling, or living an influencer’s life of constantly editing yourself down for broadcast. That stuff is sapping our energy, dulling our perceptions and locking us into pointless conversations with faceless users who don’t know us and never will.
Social media is easy; it’s true. And building up your social health is a difficult and awkward process that can’t be slotted into a scrolling feed. I can’t wait to do the work.
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