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O.J. Simpson sentenced to 9 to 33 years in prison for role in Palace Station robbery. Even Simpson’s longtime supporters are saying, “It’s about friggin’ time!”

Las Vegas judge dismisses drug and battery charges against Suge Knight. “Hey, one has-been from the ’90s is all we can handle in one week,” the judge said.

Major League Baseball’s winter meetings begin in Las Vegas this week. “That’s right—if we can’t get ’em to bring a team here, at least we can take their money at roulette.

Oscar De La Hoya suffers beating from Manny Pacquiao. Luckily no one could afford the pay-per-view, so Oscar, if you don’t tell anyone, we won’t either.

Ethiopian man becomes first Clark County resident to win Las Vegas Marathon. He’ll use his winnings to become a resident of Boston.

Analyst downgrades Boyd Gaming Inc.’s rating to “hold.” It’s better than the next rating: “Oh my God! You don’t want to see this.”

Mirage reopens hotter, larger volcano after $25 million face-lift. Actually, they’re now referring to it as a “volcano bailout.”

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