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Where we sort it all out for you

Don King and Emeril Lagasse get spots in the Gaming Hall of Fame. Organizers decided the current hall didn’t have enough big hair and “Bam!”

Las Vegas ranks 18th nationwide in carbon emissions. That’s right—our carbon footprint is the size of Shaquille O’Neal’s.

Las Vegas ranks among 40 best cities to live in. We almost made the Top 30. Damn that carbon footprint!

Promoter Jack Wishna calls Michael Jackson “incapable” of performing in a Vegas show. Hey, Siegfried & Roy managed to do just fine, thank you very much.

Jim Gibbons says he will seek re-election in 2010. He’s hoping to capitalize on that crucial “I’m willing to forgive the last four years” vote.

Poker player Jerry Yang admits he gives money to charity. So do most poker players, only they donate while they play, and their charity is called The House.

Budget cuts force city to put drug-sniffing dogs out of a job. City now toying with the idea of money-sniffing dogs.

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