Las Vegas Weekly

Take the Gibbons test

Were you paying attention last week? Find out

Illustration: Ryan Olbrysh

The Jim/Dawn Gibbons divorce saga has quickly become a reason for living if you’re a Nevada resident who even dares to pick up the daily paper.

Speculation, innuendo and rumor all swirled to make the Governor and the First Lady into this state’s Luke and Laura, with the public hanging on every word, every denial, every facial expression.

All that speculation got a boost last week with the release of Dawn Gibbons’ divorce motion. Odds are most of you have heard about it in some form, but just to make sure you were paying attention, we present the Weekly Gibbons Divorce Quiz. Pick the missing words from these excerpts of Dawn Gibbons’ motion:

1. Worse, his (a. castaway; b. forlorn; c. really pissed-off) wife …

2. … [Jim Gibbons’ handlers] mislead the public in vain attempts to preserve the (a. marginal; b. minimal; c. William Hung-like) favorable Public Opinion regarding him that might still exist …

3. … [Gibbons], the source of the damage to her reputation, cowers behind a veil of (a. secrecy; b. cowardice; c. lawyers) and manufactures issues attempting to embarrass her into (a. submission; b. a nervous breakdown; c. running for governor herself) …

4. Aside from his (a. incivility; b. brashness; c. allergy to the truth) … the Plaintiff has used Unconstitutional Statutes to (a. mislead; b. deceive; c. do business as usual with) the very public that he serves.

5. … Mr. Gibbons’ wife has been his greatest (a. asset; b. ally; c. PR tool) …

6. … after consuming copious amounts of (a. alcohol; b. steak; c. spin), and under the cover of (a. darkness; b. night; c. the Republican Party), Plaintiff was accused of (a. assaulting; b. harrassing; c. ignoring the environmental pleas of) a young woman …

7. … the Plaintiff publicly admitted to making a (a. false; b. erroneous; c. party-line) statement on the affidavit/application for renewal of his concealed weapons permit …

8. … the subject of interest is one of the most if not the most (a. scandal-ridden; b. corrupt; c. qualified) Governor in the history of this state.

9 … it can be demonstrated on the record and to the public that she is blameless and that (a. lust; b. human weakness; c. the electorate) is the real villain here.