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The Help Desk

Where we sort it all out for you

Michael Phelps parties with strippers at the Palms. His behavior was so scandalous, he’s already considered the front-runner for governor in 2010.

Judge Elizabeth Halverson allegedly beaten by husband with frying pan. Why couldn’t he have taken a cue from Francis Allen’s husband and beaten himself with it?

North Las Vegas residents hold airport-safety meetings. We’d suggest holding them someplace safe—like Pahrump.

Towbin Hummer, nation’s largest Hummer store, to shut its doors. The remaining fleet will eventually fossilize and end up in museums.

Dodgers farm team may be leaving Las Vegas. Which means that soon we’ll get another Triple-A team you’ll never go to see play.

Ethics commission: Jim Gibbons never pressured assessor to gain tax benefit from land. Heh-heh ... Oh, sorry. It’s just that the words “ethics” and “Jim Gibbons” in the same sentence make us giggle.

Las Vegas DMV worker charged with selling IDs to illegal aliens. We’re absolutely stunned. We had no idea DMV workers in Nevada were that organized.

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