Las Vegas Weekly

The Help Desk

Where we sort it all out for you

Criss Angel splits with Holly Madison after four months. It happened when she realized she was Holly Madison, and that she was dating Criss Angel.

Analyst predicts Las Vegas housing market will begin full recovery by late 2011. We predict that housing analyst in late 2011 will reveal, “Sorry, I just pulled all that out of my butt.”

Killers countersue former manager for “double-dealing.” If nothing else, Brandon Flowers should get a song with really confusing lyrics out of this.

Bank of America Corp. moves health-care conference from Las Vegas to New York. It’s not that they were bailout recipients seeking to improve their image; it’s that Las Vegas no longer HAS health care.

UFC fighter Georges St. Pierre defends himself against allegations of cheating using petroleum jelly. Yeah, we know Vaseline has saved our ass in many a fistfight.

NASCAR Cafe offering free roller-coaster rides to anyone who can eat its new 2-foot-long, six-pound burrito. No cheating with Vaseline, either.