The Vegas Watchmen
Matching up the dystopian heroes to notable local figures
Thu, Mar 5, 2009 (midnight)
Defining characteristics: Geeky, gadget-dependent, needs persona to connect with women
Closest local equivalent: Criss Angel
Why the comparison works: Like those of his birdy fictional counterpart, Angel’s superhuman acts require sophisticated trickery.
Where it breaks down: Nite Owl keeps his girlfriend.
Defining characteristics: Irritatingly moralistic, uncompromising, slightly smelly
Closest local equivalent: Family-values crusader Richard Ziser
Why the comparison works: Like Rorschach, Ziser looks down on a city of people enjoying themselves in ways that offend him and is determined to stop them.
Where it breaks down: For all his faults and inflexibilities, you end up rooting for Rorschach.
Defining characteristics: Smartest man in the world, willing to sacrifice people for an idea
Closest local equivalent:R-J editor Thomas Mitchell
Why the comparison works: Well, Mitchell certainly presents himself as the smartest man in the world, and his paper’s editorials show a distinct preference for political and economic abstractions at the expense of people they’d impact.
Where it breaks down: Ozymandias doesn’t have a sentient mustache.
Defining characteristics: Ruthless, does government’s dirty work, not actually comedic
Closest local equivalent: Sen. John Ensign
Why the comparison works: Because Ensign really isn’t funny. Moreover, during the Bush administration, he supported most of the president’s unsavory policies.
Where it breaks down: When you start picturing the senator in tights.
Defining characteristics: Impetuous, prone to outbursts, looks hot in yellow
Closest local equivalent: Jim Rogers
Why the comparison works: Silk Spectre is frequently outraged by lapses in common sense, angry that the world doesn’t work as it should; see Rogers’ recent comments.
Where it breaks down: Silk Spectre A) is a chick; B) is no chancellor of higher education.
Defining characteristics: At one with quantum universe, aloof from human concerns, blue
Closest local equivalent: Gov. Jim Gibbons
- An empty spectacle (3/5/09)
Why the comparison works: Blue or not, no one in Nevada is more aloof from human concerns than Gibbons. Like Watchmen’s atomized Dr. Manhattan, he is fascinated by phenomena no one else can see, such as Democratic conspiracies at the Wall Street Journal.
Where it breaks down: Not sure; let’s put Gibbons in a particle accelerator and find out.