Las Vegas Weekly

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The Greek Food Festival. The San Gennaro Feast. Two great ethnic food events—but what if you can only attend one? How to choose? We suggest a coin toss. But if you don’t have a coin—and in this economy, who does?—perhaps this handy point system will help you decide:

Greece: Cradle of Western civilization ... +2 (1)

Italy: Despotic emperors, Caligulan excess, knifings in Senate ... 0 (2)

Greece: “Greek art is considered superior to (imitative) Roman art.” –About.com ... +2

Italy: “Today, the cultural significance of Italy is reflected in the fact that it boasts by far the largest number of UNESCO World Heritage Sites (44) in the world.” –Wikipedia ... +2

Greece: Birthplace of the Olympics ... +3

Italy: Pitted Christians against lions ... +2 (3)

Greece: Gave us My Big Fat Greek Wedding ... –1 (4)

Italy: Gave us I, Claudius ... +1

Greece: Ranked No. 22 on world quality-of-life ranking ... +2

Italy: Ranked No. 8 ... +35

Greece: Light, healthy cuisine based on olive oil, natural ingredients—utterly delicious ... +10

Italy: Diverse cuisine, pasta-dependent, sauce-intensive, utterly delicious ... +10

Scores: Greece 18, Italy 18.

Conclusion: Just attend both already!

FOOTNOTES

1. What, only two points? Hey, how are you feeling about Western Civ right now?

2. Reminds us too much of the Bush administration.

3. Additional point if they used creepy fundamentalist Christians who advocate killing abortion doctors.

4. Sorry, chick flick.

5. America: No. 13. But at least we have real football.