Las Vegas Weekly

Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Longtime Strip inhabitants The Sirens of T.I.

Kirvin Doak Communications

Ahoy, landlubbers! One of ye olde Weekly’s favorite holidays is fast approaching, mateys! International Talk Like a Pirate Day is September 19, and we’re here tell you about it if you’ve been wallowing as a bilge rat. (Keep reading, you’ll figure it out.)

How did it start?

A couple of scallywags named John Baur and Mark Summers were playing racquetball in 1995. (Pirates loooove racquetball.) While offering one another encouragement, they started using pirate slang. The game infinitely more amusing, they decided the world needed a new holiday to celebrate the lingo of the high seas and settled on September 19, Summers’ (ex)wife’s birthday and the only date he could remember.

In 2002, Baur randomly found syndicated columnist Dave Barry’s e-mail address and decided to share his love of pirate speak with him, resulting in a column that fueled the recognition of one of the most pointless and wonderful holidays ever.

In honor of the nonsensical brilliance, it’s time to get pirate-y. Despite the lack of a nearby sea for sailing, pirates love Vegas. There’s plenty of rum, no last call, lots of wenches and a trunk-load of booty to plunder.

Here are suggestions on how to spend TLPD:

- Spend the day at Treasure Island Hotel and Casino, arrrrrring up a storm at the Sirens.

- Commandeer a gondola at The Venetian.

- Go see Ka at the MGM if only to check out the giant ship.

- Two words: Scavenger Hunt!

- Find a group of ninjas to settle the battle of who’s better.

- Challenge a knight at the Tournament of Kings to a sword fight.

- Take photos with your pal Jack Sparrow at Madame Tussauds.

- Rhumbar. Mmmmm, Rum.

Basic Pirate-speak (from the official Talk Like A Pirate Day site):

Ahoy! - Hello!

Avast! - Whoa! Get a load of that! Check it out. No way. Get off.

Aye! Why yes, I agree most heartily with everything you just said or did.

Aye aye! I'll get right on that, sir, as soon as my break is over.

Arrr! Various definitions: Yes, I agree. I'm happy. I'm enjoying this beer. My team is going to win it all. I saw that television show; it sucked. That was a clever remark you or I just made.

Advanced pirate lingo

Beauty - The best possible pirate address for a woman. Always preceded by “me” as in, “C’mere, me beauty.”

Bilge rat - The bilge is the lowest level of the ship. It’s loaded with ballast and slimy, reeking water. A bilge rat, then, is a rat that lives in the worst place on the ship.

Grog - An alcoholic drink, usually rum diluted with water.

Lubber - (or land lubber) This is the seaman’s version of land lover, mangled by typical pirate disregard for elocution. A lubber is someone who does not go to sea, who stays on the land.

Pirate Cove

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Need more pirate-esque speak? Try setting your Facebook language to “pirate.” Yep, it’s possible. Just go to “settings,” “language” and scroll down to “English (pirate).”

Now yer native tongue ter pillage ye olde Facebook is “Pirate.” Let it be known to yer mateys tha' ye olde Facebook be in other landlubber tongues.

And to help you out in the ogling of people not on the Internet, Baur and Summers have a list of pickup lines to use on TLPD, though they could easily be used anywhere.

Top Ten Pickup lines for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day:

10 . Avast, me proud beauty! Wanna know why my Roger is so Jolly?

9. Have ya ever met a man with a real yardarm?

8. Come on up and see me urchins.

7. Yes, that is a hornpipe in my pocket and I am happy to see you.

6. I'd love to drop anchor in your lagoon.

5. Pardon me, but would ya mind if I fired me cannon through your porthole?

4. How'd you like to scrape the barnacles off of me rudder?

3. Ya know, darlin’, I’m 97 percent chum free.

2. Well blow me down?

And the number one pickup line for use on International Talk Like a Pirate Day is …

1. Prepare to be boarded.

Cast yer sails, Las Vegas. It's time to go find some booty!