Las Vegas Weekly Staff

Story Archive

49 things to be thankful for
Thursday, Nov. 19, 2009
Colonic Elvis, invisible troops, CCSD teachers, the lag time between stopping mortgage payments and being evicted... the list goes on and on.
The Help Desk
Where we sort it all out for you
Tuesday, Nov. 17, 2009
Fired UNLV coach Mike Sanford blames bad record on lousy locker-room conditions.
He also blamed his shitty parking space.



Twelve hurt in escalator mishap at casino.
With the speed those things move at, it was just an accident waiting to happen.


Seven-year-old fires gun while waiting at bus stop.
No word on whether he’s been punished yet, but on the bright side, he did get his NRA card.
Tiny little rant about 'Rent' and 'The Laramie Project'
Tuesday, Nov. 17, 2009
These productions should never have been an issue.
The Weekly Quote Quiz
Can you guess who said this?
Tuesday, Nov. 17, 2009
Who said it?
Recycling the stripper-mobile
Tuesday, Nov. 17, 2009
Even though it’s defunct, we shouldn’t let a brilliant idea go to waste.
After & Before: Rafiki from "The Lion King"
Tuesday, Nov. 17, 2009
It takes Buyi Zama 30-40 minutes nightly to transform into her character Rafiki, with whom she actually has a lot in common.
The Help Desk
Thursday, Nov. 12, 2009
Nicolas Cage forced to sell $10 million Las Vegas estate because of tax troubles.
Hey, we saw The Wicker Man—this isn’t the first time he’s been forced to do something unpleasant.



Las Vegas tops Forbes’ list of least toxic cities.
Did they test the air around UNLV’s football team?


Man on Nevada death row gets additional prison sentences.
Being on death row just doesn’t send a strong-enough message.
Suggestion Box: Gibbons needs a cat
Thursday, Nov. 12, 2009
Like Jon talking to a nonexistent cat, when Gibbons insists he can win re-election, it’s like he’s muttering to himself in public.
'2012': The Las Vegas spectacular!
Wednesday, Nov. 11, 2009
How will Sin City know the end is near?
The Help Desk
Thursday, Nov. 5, 2009
Steve Wynn says in conference call with investors, “The landscape in Vegas is troubling.”
He then further shocked the group by revealing that water is wet and candy is sweet.


Nevada man charged with acting as attorney.
Hmmm ... wonder who’s going to represent this guy?


Swine flu forces change in UMC visitors policy.
The new policy is this: If you try to visit, you’re immediately sent for psychiatric evaluation, because you’re clearly insane.
What are local writers working on?
Thursday, Nov. 5, 2009
Gratuitous plugs, new novels and more. Local writers are doing it all.
Super compressed schedule of Vegas Valley Comic Book Festival
Thursday, Nov. 5, 2009
More comics than you can stomach!
Suggestion Box: Hey RJ, tell us something we don't know
Thursday, Nov. 5, 2009
An R-J writer proclaimed that spiraling room rates are drawing a “trashier” clientele, one that—gasp!—brings coolers into rooms and apparently causes—double gasp!—room damage.
Vegas Valley Book Festival at a glance
Thursday, Nov. 5, 2009
Everything you need to know... and then some.
Fun death facts
Several interns were killed in the making of this list
Thursday, Oct. 29, 2009
Several interns were killed in the making of this list.
The Weekly buries its pets... and somebody else's, too
Thursday, Oct. 29, 2009
Our writers have a warm, fuzzy side—really! They’ve got the pet burial stories to prove it.
Three death FAQs
Burying grandma, plotting your own cemetary and other death questions you need answered right now!
Thursday, Oct. 29, 2009
Want to know if you can bury grandma in the backyard?
Mayor Goodman's last day on Earth
And other thoughts on their final 24 hours from notable Las Vegans
Thursday, Oct. 29, 2009
We asked several notables the same question: What would you do if today was your last day?
The Help Desk
Thursday, Oct. 29, 2009
Las Vegas ranks seventh on Forbes list of Best Cities to Retire In.
Proving once and for all that Forbes lists are a result of putting all cities in a hat and just choosing at random.


Casino employees sue over second-hand-smoke exposure.
Can we change our slogan to What Happens in Vegas Has Real-World Implications?


Holly Madison says she’d like to be city’s mayor.
Hate to break this to you, Holly, but with the caliber of mayor up to now ... you’re extremely qualified.
What Andre Agassi's crystal meth use explains
Wednesday, Oct. 28, 2009
Suddenly, the tennis superstar's mid-'90s warddrobe makes sense.
Amen Corner: Spaying and neutering opposition
Wednesday, Oct. 28, 2009
You can’t imagine how relieved we were to hear that the city’s plan to make spaying and neutering mandatory is likely to face widespread opposition.
The Help Desk
Thursday, Oct. 22, 2009
Unemployment in Las Vegas climbs to 13.9 percent.
We’re not saying it’s bad, but we just saw a guy in a suit offering to squeegee a homeless guy’s shopping cart.


UFL moves third Locomotives game back to Las Vegas.
To give the city another chance to totally blow it off.


Las Vegas DMV office reopens after discovery of something suspicious.
DMV officials had never seen it before: a smile.
A pizza of our own
Metro whips up a Weekly special that tastes great and benefits a good cause
Thursday, Oct. 22, 2009
Metro whips up a Weekly special that tastes great and benefits a good cause.
Anatomy of a great pizza
How they do it at Settebello
Thursday, Oct. 22, 2009
Settebello makes a great pie. Here's how.
Suggestion Box: Represent the voters, Reid
Thursday, Oct. 22, 2009
The fate of health-care reform may rest soundly within the hands of Harry Reid, who as we speak is being pressured by progressives to include the public option in the final health-care reform bill.
Other suggested wordings: How should UNLV relabel its fake Stella painting?
Tuesday, Oct. 20, 2009
“If the school doesn’t destroy the painting or take it out, [Stella’s attorney, Neale] Albert suggests a placard to hang next to the work: ‘This is not a Frank Stella painting.’”
Spookiest Halloween costume?
Which of these acts—all in town this week—would help you scare up the most candy?
Tuesday, Oct. 20, 2009
Puscifer. Slipknot. Rob Zombie. Mitch Albom. Which of these acts—all in town this week—would help you scare up the most candy?
Suggestion Box: Moulin Rouge
Tuesday, Oct. 13, 2009
Don't tear down the Moulin Rouge!
The Weekly Quote Quiz
Can you guess who said this?
Tuesday, Oct. 13, 2009
Who said it!
Help Desk
Where we sort it all out for you
Tuesday, Oct. 13, 2009
Michael Jackson’s doctor Conrad Murray could face arrest after missing hearing about late child support.
He’s got a good excuse—he spent all his money on storage lockers and propofol.


Miss America Organization announces Rush Limbaugh as a national judge for 2010.
They want help in scoping out the next Republican vice-presidential candidate.


KVBC alleges rest of Las Vegas network affiliates sold their newscasts.
This whole thing got us so riled up, we had to take an Excedrin PM—it really works—and cuddle up in our Snuggie—only $19.95.
The Help Desk
Thursday, Oct. 8, 2009
Judge issues arrest warrant for Roger Mayweather after he fails to show in court.
It was an honest mistake—Roger thought it was Floyd’s turn to show up in court.


New law makes it illegal to drink in city parks without a permit.
Oscar Goodman is just going to opt for the lifetime wristband.


Former pitcher Shawn Chacon wanted for allegedly writing three bad checks totalling $150,000 to casino.
We don’t know about you, but we’re shocked that a mediocre ex-baseball player would cheat.

Tapes and Tapes: Michael Jackson or Bill Clinton?
Wednesday, Oct. 7, 2009
Can you tell which of these quotes come from The Michael Jackson Tapes and which from The Clinton Tapes?
Tiny Little Rant: Gay "Rights"
Wednesday, Oct. 7, 2009
To allow same-sex couples “some” of the rights married couples share but still not allow them to be legally married is absolute chickens--t.
After and Before: Thom Sesma as Scar inThe Lion King
Tuesday, Oct. 6, 2009
Sesma dons 50 pounds of leather for every performance, and that’s not even the difficult part.
The Help Desk
Where we sort it all out for you
Thursday, Oct. 1, 2009
Las Vegas tourism officials reviving “What happens here” slogan.
Apparently they’re going after that demographic that hasn’t seen any movies in the last 10 years, doesn’t own a TV and has short-term memory loss.


Building violations issued against Paris Las Vegas.
It was something about “Eiffel Tower” and “missing bolts,” but there’s no real reason
for alarm.


Las Vegas police officer arrested in dispute with neighbor.
When are people going to learn? Those Vegas block-party potlucks are nothing but trouble.

The gubernatorial scene at a glance
Thursday, Oct. 1, 2009
See who's announced, who will announce and who should announce.
Amen Corner: Some elected officials actually work!
Thursday, Oct. 1, 2009
And you thought your elected officials were all ethically challenged reprobates. Shame on you! Some of them are still working their asses off—or should we say burros?
A pat on our own back: Multiple NPA awards for the Weekly
Thursday, Oct. 1, 2009
In the recent Nevada Press Association contest, the Weekly picked up 12 awards, four of them first-places in key categories.
The Help Desk
Where we sort it all out for you
Thursday, Sept. 24, 2009
Floyd Mayweather Jr. defeats Juan Manuel Marquez.
Fight fans enjoying UFC 103 ask, “Who and who?”


Las Vegas-Anaheim maglev train proposal to finally get $5 million in federal funds.
Awesome! Now it’s one step closer to never happening.


Heidi Fleiss forced to close pet-grooming business.
Residents complained after Charlie Sheen started taking his dogs there.

FAMEDORUM!
Wednesday, Sept. 23, 2009
This is what happens when you combine sci-fi and dance.
Suggestion Box: Hey UNLV...
Wednesday, Sept. 23, 2009
Not a bad start, UNLV. We were glad to hear how much water you’ve saved by getting rid of the trays in the cafeteria, but let’s face it: It’s not nearly enough. If you truly want to start conserving resources, we’ve got a couple of ideas of our own.
Representin’!
Who are the best ambassadors for Las Vegas right now?
Tuesday, Sept. 22, 2009
Who are the best ambassadors for Las Vegas right now?
Amen Corner: Capitalism at its finest
Thursday, Sept. 17, 2009
Nina Radetich, the plucky newscaster at Channel 13, was caught offering the services of her boyfriend, a guy with some PR experience, to the owner of Tire Works, a business that was soon to be featured as the subject of an undercover expose on—where else?—Channel 13.
The Help Desk
Where we sort it all out for you
Thursday, Sept. 17, 2009
La Toya Jackson in danger of losing Las Vegas house to foreclosure, owing $745,670 in unpaid mortgage.
Yeah, that La Toya impersonator on the Strip? That’s REALLY La Toya!


Survey finds Nevada residents prefer cremation.
Second most popular choice was being buried alive in debt.


Las Vegas sees spike in weddings for 9-9-09.
Divorce lawyers see record spikes on 9-10-09 as well.

How we spent Patriot Day (September 11)
Thursday, Sept. 17, 2009
Go-go dancing, hording in a home office and Disneyland? We're so American...
The Help Desk
Where we sort it all out for you
Thursday, Sept. 10, 2009
Las Vegas Police hold planning seminar for neighborhoods facing rising crime due to foreclosures.
Criminals hoping for empty homes were very appreciative of
the heads-up.


Harry Reid spokesman says the senator wasn’t being serious when he told the Review-Journal, “I hope you go out of business.”
Just like when he told his constituency, “I hope we reform health care in a meaningful way.”


Mayor Oscar Goodman renews wedding vows.
Hey, the guy’s happily married—plus, he discovered that term limits apply to his marriage, too.

Suggestion Box: Cash up front
Thursday, Sept. 10, 2009
It seems every jackass with a checkbook is using Las Vegas as their personal piggy bank.
A&E Fall Preview!
We've got your next three months planned
Thursday, Sept. 3, 2009
We've got your next three months planned...
The Help Desk
Thursday, Sept. 3, 2009
Police seize two handguns and two bulletproof vests from Floyd Mayweather’s home following shooting allegations.
Hey, sometimes paintball games just get out of hand.


Rapper Too Short arrested in Vegas on DUI and possession of marijuana.
Driving drunk with weed? Maybe this guy needs to change his name to 2 Stupid 2 Live.


Nebraska philanthropist claims he had “immunity” from criminal charges over $15 million in gambling debts at two casinos.
Because philanthropic work sometimes requires you to gamble with money you don’t have.

Tiny Little Rant: Real estate shenanigans
Thursday, Sept. 3, 2009
It was hardly a surprise to us to learn that real estate agent Brooke Boemio is in a bit of hot water over boasting how she’s able to short-sell properties by getting owners to stop making their payments.