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Stripped

Tales of the naked city, from a Las Vegas dancer.


November 13, 2008 · 1:31 PM

In Canada, stripper rules are decidedly loony

By Justice

Illustration: Justice

“So you’re a stripper in Vegas, eh?” asked a Canadian man at a strip club in Calgary. I answered in the affirmative. I just returned to Vegas from a short trip to Canada and, my goodness, it’s different there. Besides their keen fashion sense, which includes a love for denim and mullets, differences across the northern border extend to various other things. I was curious to find out what the difference is between Las Vegas strip clubs and Canadian strip clubs. Like the U.S, strip club rules vary drastically from region to region. In Calgary, where I was last week, strippers must remain a minimum of three feet away from customers while onstage. That is certainly different from the crotch-to-face stuff I’ve seen at some Las Vegas strip clubs. They have other funny rules like “No heavy- metal music.” There are a lot more differences too, and I was excited to get some more foreign policy experience -- 2012 is just around the corner, after all.

Since I’m really a hands-on kind of gal, I decided to participate in amateur night at a Canadian strip club. At first, I was only going to poke my head into a strip club just to take a look. When I found out it was amateur night, there was no way I was going to pass it up. Somehow, the group of people willing to join me on this adventure grew from an apprehensive two to at least 10 rowdy men. The Canadians are friendly people.

So after a hockey game, the gang trickled in to a place called the Speak Easy. One of the people in the group knew the manager and was able to get me a spot onstage during a full amateur night. It would be at least an hour before I would go onstage. This gave me the opportunity to do some paper work, gage the caliber of the dancers and drink whiskey. I was concerned that they wouldn’t be able to let me perform because I was a foreign citizen. The rules are comparatively relaxed in the North because proof of age and a signature were all I needed to get onstage. In Vegas, background checks, multiple forms of ID and a business license are needed to even be considered for the opportunity to work as a stripper.

So I sat, watched and waited, nervous with anticipation. My time came up and they called me the wrong name. “Next up, Samantha!” That’s not even close to what I wrote down. I shot back the rest of my whiskey and trotted in my high heels to the stairs to get onstage. Perhaps as a tribute to Canada’s incredible free health care system, I was dressed up in a borrowed naughty nurse costume. It was a noisy, white, synthetic PVC mini dress with little red crosses on it. “No jugs of any kind can be used onstage,” say the rules. Did my double D’s count? They let me use them. I was to dance to three songs, strip to my underwear and bow out. It happened with many cheers but otherwise no incident. A little sway and shake and I’m paid my 75 Canadian dollars.

The professional strippers there go through the most degrading ritual I’ve ever seen, however. This event is known as the Looney toss. There are no lap dances in Calgary, only stage shows. Strippers must hustle as much cash onstage as possible. Since strippers must remain three feet away from customers, the hustle is less intimate and more … strange. For those unfamiliar with Canadian currency, a Looney is a golden Canadian dollar coin. During the Looney toss, Canadian strippers get completely naked and stick a single Looney to their skin with moisture (saliva), typically on an interesting spot like on a boob, or a butt cheek or near the vagina. Customers must then toss Loonies at that stationary Looney to try and knock it off the stripper. People are flinging metal objects at these strippers who are working way too hard, in my opinion. Afterwards, strippers take a magnet and pick up all the Loonies and then get off the stage, at which point I was able to talk to them. I expressed my confusion about this ritual. I wanted to know why they wouldn’t go somewhere where they could give lap dances and make better, faster money. They admitted the Looney toss was pretty sh*tty. One girl told me that her friend had a permanent scar from the Looney toss after a customer heated up one of the coins with a lighter before tossing it on her skin. They still believe that I was the one working too hard, putting up with grab-assing lap dance patrons. To each her own. I’m glad to be home.

7 Comments So Far

On behalf of Canadians I apologize your only experience with our country was in Calgary

If you like strip club rules that are a little grimier - check out moncton, where they actually have "bed dances"

Rules vary all over the country but aside from them Calgary in general can be fun to party in sometimes, but is about as classy and styleish as a half drank Bud light with a cigarette butt floating in it, for a better metropolitan Canadian experience come over to Vancouver for a visit or check out Toronto.

Posted by: matt_clubzone on 11/14/08 at 11:32 a.m. (Suggest removal)

That is horrible! I can't believe that act is even legal. I hope to God that never happens in Vegas!

Posted by: strippersoldier on 11/14/08 at 1 p.m. (Suggest removal)

bad-mouthing canadian strip club's is like bad-mouthing miami beaches--it's waaaaaaaaay beyond ridiculous.........the only half-way redeeming thing in this post is that it qualifies by saying things vary region to region........first off, lap dances were invented in canada--in quebec.....in strip clubs in that region (montreal, hull, toronto), unlike in vegas where they require reference letters from ivy league professors to even work there, there is something called naked dancing onstage...(they're called strip clubs, remember?)..none of this 'no full nudity if we serve liquor' bs they have in vegas....some of the girls even give lap dances without their panties on...in vegas lap dances last about 45 seconds and there is barely any touching allowed..incedental contact only...compare that to canada or miami where the girls are there 50% for fun and 50% for the money, and not business-women (not that there is anything entirely wrong with that, but i'm just comparing)..but to this end, the girls in the places i have mentioned look waaaaaaaaaaay better...i went to treasures last friday, and at least 1/4 of the girls had protruding guts....in the end, i am shocked anyone would say anything bad about canadian strip clubs...it's like saying brazilian soccer sucks or italian pizza sucks....

Posted by: ricky1001 on 11/16/08 at 12:47 a.m. (Suggest removal)

Wow, that's horrible. Here in Vancouver, BC, we have nothing like this "loonie toss". We also have full-nudity stripping, lap dances where the girl gets to do it the way she wishes, in an enclosed area, and any one who even *looks* like they may pose a threat to a girl is booted out, at least at the local clubs I've been too. Sorry your Calgary experience was so crap; please, don't hold it against the rest of the country. Calgary's like our backwards little brother, we try not to let him get to us. :)

Posted by: Frankie23 on 11/28/08 at 12:17 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Canadian strippers lost out when the Royal Mint discontinued first the $1 and then the $2, replacing them with the "loony" and the "twony". No, stage tipping seems to have died out since Joe Canuck is unwilling to part with a $5 bill. Yanks still come to border towns and have a bunch of greenbacks, but in a town like Ottawa, stage dancing has become a lost art, and everyone is waiting for a customer to lure to the champagne room.

Posted by: rrbill on 12/27/08 at 7:36 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Calgary's strip clubs are a shadow of what they were 10 years ago. If you live here you'll also notice: no feature dancers (i.e. film stars, big name strippers) ever; the last "name" we had was a standup comedy appearance at the Speakeasy by Ron Jeremy. Before that Kayla Kleevage was here; that was in 2004 I think. It's the same dozen girls or so otherwise because our 3 and only clubs are all owned by the same people. People blame our chronic habit of electing conservative provincial governments, but Edmonton's clubs have a lot more variety, are a bit more liberal (not much in any you want to have booze at) and there are simply more to choose from (hence competition). The loony toss is a bit much but I've seen guys toss 50 at a single dancer, so for some it's more lucrative than the old "garter belt bill insert". At least up here. Oh well, as least we have strip clubs in Calgary; over in Saskatchewan they're all but banned.

Posted by: toonman on 1/19/09 at 3:46 p.m. (Suggest removal)

Oh my god that has totally put me off traveling to Canada to work! Just recently a guy recommended me a club in Toronto called the Brass Rail -anybody worked there? He said the girls are making good money, better than Vegas because the recession has not hit Canada so badly. Any advice would be much appreciated especially off dancers.

Posted by: lesbos on 3/2/09 at 3:38 a.m. (Suggest removal)

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