The Help Desk

The help desk

Britney Spears reappears in Las Vegas, reportedly looking hot.
Nice try, Britney, but John McCain’s already chosen his running mate.
Mos Def under larceny investigation for snatching camera from photographer in Las Vegas.
Actually, he wasn’t trying to steal it. He was trying to sample it.
Local girl attacked by pet python.
Man, first Roy Horn and now this. What is it with the pets in this town?

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The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Aug 28, 2008 (midnight)

$360 million in improvements trimmed from McCarran Airport plan.
With all that neon on the Strip, who needs runway lights?
Las Vegas TV reporter fired for soliciting sex online.
Hey, in a city with so few sex options, what’s a guy to do?
Oscar Goodman wants to build pro football stadium for the Super Bowl and Monday Night Football.
The rest of the year, the venue would be used for Sweet 16 parties and as a neato hideout for the homeless.

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The help desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Aug 21, 2008 (midnight)

Two-day conference on creating clean energy technology held at UNLV.
First order of business: Reduce all the air pollution caused by everyone who attended.
This year’s “Vegas to Reno” race doesn’t go through Vegas or Reno.
If you think that’s bad, get this: That’s not the real Eiffel Tower, or Empire State Building, or ...
Las Vegas version of New York’s Plaza Hotel postponed.
Wait—it’s not the real Plaza Hotel? Man, this just keeps getting worse and worse.

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The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Aug 14, 2008 (midnight)

Forbes.com ranks Las Vegas among best U.S. cities for commercial investment.
Las Vegans rank Forbes.com among most clueless websites.
Criss Angel to launch own clothing brand.
Everything’s magic except the underwear—the Mormons threatened a lawsuit.
UNLV signs Runnin’ Rebels coach Lon Kruger to a one-year extension.
Guaranteeing yet another season of underattended games.

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The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Aug 7, 2008 (midnight)

Celtics’ Paul Pierce handcuffed during traffic stop on the Strip.
And the list of reasons why we’ll never get an NBA franchise just keeps on growing.
Jerry Lewis stopped at McCarran with unloaded gun.
But don’t worry—he still thinks female comedians aren’t funny, so it’s not like he’s lost it or anything.
Erotic Heritage Museum opens in Las Vegas.
About time. We were just wondering how Las Vegas could add a little more sex to its image.

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The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Jul 31, 2008 (midnight)

Elite Traveler’s list of 101 top hotel/resort suites of the year includes Palazzo’s $20,000-a-night Chairman Suite.
Word has it that it offers a great view of all the Valley’s foreclosed homes.
Eva Longoria Parker wants to open Las Vegas nightclub.
And we want a weekend in Rio with Eva Longoria. Hopefully both our dreams come true.
West Nile Virus found in mosquitoes in Las Vegas Valley.
Luckily, no one in Las Vegas ever leaves their home, so we’re safe.

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The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Jul 24, 2008 (midnight)

Lake Las Vegas files for bankruptcy.
Caviar will now be served only on weekends.
Third terminal project approved for McCarran International Airport.
More canceled flights than ever before.
Nicolas Cage selling Las Vegas home for $9.95 million
Or roughly the combined gross of Next and The Wicker Man.

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The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Jul 17, 2008 (midnight)

Naked man hijacks Las Vegas bus.
Well, he would have to; no pockets for change.
Starbucks to close five Las Vegas shops this month.
Damn! If only there was some other venue we could find coffee at ...
Michael Jackson spotted at Las Vegas Barnes & Noble in wheelchair, wearing a trucker hat, dreadlocked wig and khaki sweater.
We know what you’re thinking: A sweater in this heat?

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The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Jul 10, 2008 (midnight)

Star Trek: The Experience to close September 1.
Who needs science fiction? $4 a gallon for gas? A text-messaging governor? Gambling on the decline? We’re living it!
Harry Reid says that coal and oil “make us sick.”
No, Harry, what really makes us sick is watching the Democratic Party shoot itself in the foot at every turn.
Report: Most poker players support Obama.
So remember, if you’re still undecided, ask yourself: Who would “The Unabomber” endorse?

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The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Jul 3, 2008 (midnight)

Governor changes senior staff.
And magically, tales of infidelity and idiocy vanish!
Lawmakers cut funds for textbooks.
Next year’s plan includes burning remaining books for fuel.
The Wynn “accidentally” sues NBA for unpaid debts.
NBA accidentally decides it will never have a team here.

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The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Jun 26, 2008 (midnight)

Terry Lanni resigns from Gaming Association to devote more time to what’s important:
Returning to the top spot on the “wealthiest Las Vegas executives” list.
Some Nevada brothels report 45 percent decline in revenues.
Sex lives of married couples improving statewide.
Mayor Goodman to recognize Friday as National HIV Testing Day.
Though thanks to Dipak Desai, most Las Vegans have already gotten tested.

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The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Jun 19, 2008 (midnight)

Nevada among top five states in the nation for Internet speed.
Our new motto: Faster poker and porn.
Gov. Jim Gibbons uses government cell phone to send 850 text messages to Reno woman.
What’s even more egregious is that he helped David Cook win American Idol.
Gibbons convenes Legislature into special June 23 session to tackle budget shortfalls.
It would have been held sooner, but some legislators didn’t repond to his first text message.

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The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Jun 12, 2008 (midnight)

City to turn up thermostats one or two degrees to save $6,000 a month.
Also, city employees now allowed to wear G-strings and tear-away pants to cope with the heat.
Privé Las Vegas to honor Kevin Federline as “father of the year.”
He was second in line; David Archuleta’s dad declined.
Study: Nevada has lowest high school graduation rate in the nation.
Hey, with those ultra-safe construction jobs waiting out there, is it any wonder?

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The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, Jun 5, 2008 (midnight)

Don King and Emeril Lagasse get spots in the Gaming Hall of Fame.
Organizers decided the current hall didn’t have enough big hair and “Bam!”
Las Vegas ranks 18th nationwide in carbon emissions.
That’s right—our carbon footprint is the size of Shaquille O’Neal’s.
Las Vegas ranks among 40 best cities to live in.
We almost made the Top 30. Damn that carbon footprint!

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The Help Desk

Las Vegas Weekly Staff | Thu, May 29, 2008 (midnight)

McCarran Airport ranks No. 2 in customer satisfaction for 2007.
We would have been No. 1, but not everyone loves being frisked by Wayne Newton.
Assemblywoman Francis Allen arrested for allegedly stabbing her husband in the arm with a steak knife.
Looks like all this fuss about term limits may not be necessary.
Britney Spears reportedly planning a comeback in Las Vegas.
Yes, because her last Vegas performance went so well.

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A&E

“Fringe” benefits
Anointed this year’s Heroes or Lost before even premiering, thanks to online buzz, a screening at Comic-Con over the summer and the presence of co-creator J.J. Abrams of Lost and Alias fame, Fringe (Fox, Tuesdays, 9 p.m.; premieres September 9 at 8 p.m.) arrives with a daunting amount of hype …
Downtown-apalooza
Thirry Harlin was shopping in a convenience store when someone spotted the “RT” tattoo on his arm. “They’d seen my Revolution Theory logo on posters for Neon Reverb and asked if I was going,” he says. “I was like, ‘Yeah, that’s my festival!’”
New Kids on the Block
The first time around, the Boston boy-band quintet was straight-up pop. Hit-churning, falsetto-unfurling, shriek-inducing pop. But times change, kids grow into men, savings accounts run dry and styles evolve for inevitable reunions.

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Cocktail of the Week

Cocktail of the Week Sep 4, 2008
by Xania Woodman

Cocktail Tree

“Share and share alike”; “Do unto others…” (yeah, those old chestnuts). But when sublime cocktails are at hand (or in hand), a little goodwill can go a long way. While ...
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